Let's get Vajazzled!

ARE YOU READY TO GET VAJAZZLED?

ARE YOU READY TO STICK LITTLE GEMS ON THE TOP OF YOUR VAGINA AFTER YOU HAVE HAD IT WAXED BALD?

Yes! This is real.

Not only can you wax your vagina, pierce it and get it surgically altered, but you can decorate it too! With stickers! It’s like arts and crafts with your vagina!!! Holy shit! A pubic waxing “spa” called “completely bare” in NYC claims this Vajazalling trend is quite popular, especially for special holidays that cater to having sex with men, like wedding nights, valentines day and anniversaries! Jennifer Love Hewitt announced that she was vajazzled currently on the George Lopez show…and everyone cheered. Good for her and her vagina!!

I mean, who wants a boring old vagina when you can have a Vajazzled Vagina! When the panties come off the husband will scream with delight – he may stare at your glittery vagina or he may just bring out the sprinkles and glue and make you a picture for the fridge! Who knows! It’s Vajazzling!

We already know hairy, natural vaginas are disgusting and we pretty much have ignored anyone who claims otherwise. We know that shaving is not as good as waxing and uneven or large labia are generally fucked up and needs to be mutilated and altered. We know these things. But did we know we could decorate our vaginas? The jewels pretty much act as pubic hair, but SO much prettier, and stylish! Yes – so not only will your vagina look like Barbie’s crotch area, but it will be sparkly! It will have little stars or hearts (it’s your choice!) made of gems for your husband or partner who ooh and awe at.

But I have a new idea! It’s called Scrodo-glitzing! Yes! It’s a new, fashionable way for men to decorate their scrotum. We all know that scrotums are wrinkly and kind of strange and well…men should trim the area, too. Once that is done, the man can go to a spa, but not called a spa, called something manly like “Nut Bling Thunder Falcon” and pick out from an assortment of jewelled designs that are more masculine than hearts and stars – the designs would range from the trucker girl logo, or perhaps spelling out the name of the testicle or initial of the name of the testicle, you know how men love to name their genitalia. So for instance a man could have C.D initialled on one ball to stand for “Code Danger” and “S.D” for sex demon on the other ball. When he reveals his decorated scrotal sack to his wife, she will likely feel joyful that her husband would take the time to decorate his nutsack JUST for her.

I mean really – this is what is important right? Genitals are so cool and fun to look at, apparently…but they just need a little zazz every once in a while even if the zazz is genital mutilation to have that sewn up look, or hearts of diamonds to have that 4 year old playing dress up with her vagina look. Whatever, it’s Vajazzelling and it’s totally hawt!