I was just pondering the fact that a lot of people that i have met in my life have this false love for feminism and women's liberation. Most of the people, about 98% of them, are dudes. Let me illustrate what i mean by false love, let's take an example from someone I know.
This dude I know will say things like "Oh, look, a large woman in tight clothing" and shortly after "Oh, look at how hot she is" right after throwing in "I respect women"
Well, what women do you respect? The ones you deem physically desirable? This seems to be the case with how a lot of men, mostly self-proclaimed 'liberal' men think about women and the way they look and act. Women, to them, exist in categories. The categories are as follows:
"Fat"
A fat woman in a self-proclaimed 'liberal' dude's mind is either "pretty in the face" or "nasty" because her body type does not meet the dude's requirements for "HAWT." These guys often forget that they aren't the hottest shit around and MAYBE these women would want nothing to do with them anyway, in fact, i really doubt they would.
Men call women fat as a way to confirm their masculinity, a way to shame women. Some men will use this tactic to try and make a woman feel like shit about herself, in order for the man to feel better about himself. Often, they forget or simply don't care that everyone is capable of feelings. Instead, they continue to make fat jokes like "no fat chicks". This anti-fat mentality of supposed liberal dudes is far reaching, even in Hollywood, this idea that fat = disgusting is so normalized in Dude Culture that most people don't think twice.
Even the rudest of men will claim to be better than a woman if they don't like how she looks or acts because they think every woman wants them. This mentality is what feeds so much oppression and what makes it worse is the fact that these dudes claim to "respect" women. What women? Thin, large breasted women? They don't respect them either.
"Too-Thin"
A "too-thin" woman will gross a lot of 'liberal' dudes out, much like women considered "fat", expect with "fat" women, they say they won't make an exception because they generally view fat people as less than human. They of course, will defend themselves and pretend to act like they care.
When a "too thin" woman walks by, the dude may say things like "Oh, gross i want to feed her a steak" or "That's too damn thin" and they think, by saying "that's too thin" they are liberating average sized women by letting them know that "You look fine, just don't be fat or too thin"
This comes from the fact that under patriarchy, men decide what is attractive and what isn't. When men make this decision, it gets reflected in our society and does damage to the bodies and minds of women.
If a dude says "Ew, she needs to eat" this is his way of "supporting women" by pretending to give a rat's ass about their health and evaluating their fuckability (as if any of these women would fuck these dudes anyway)
"Old"
Supposed "Supporters of women's rights" also dislike "Old" women. These women are not the "Milfs" they see in pornography, but rather any woman over the age of 40 that they deem "ugly"
Again, we have men deciding that age is OKAY for them, but not okay for women. Old women, they say, have saggy breasts and "old vaginas", they make jokes about older women or treat them as non-sexual beings. Youth is embraced by most men in the West, there is the conception that once a woman is old, she's used up. Of course, it's up to these "pro-women" dudes to come up with how "wrong" we all are.
"SLUT"
Men who call women sluts are often dudes who fuck around with a lot of different women and talk about it like it's some sort of sexual conquest. These "liberal" dudes have no problem dropping the slut bomb on any woman that doesn't wanna suck their dick. If the dude finds out that the woman was promiscuous, she's a whore and a slut, not worthy of him. Yet, if he fucks around with various women, they're the sluts, not him. He's a sexual warrior, ready to take what he perceives as his.
Men use slut as if the term was not invented by men. They use the word slut as if it is essential. They attempt to appeal to other women's moral compass by saying "Oh, she's a slut, i don't like sluts". These dudes will try any sort of shaming they can in order to make other assholes laugh, or make women think they are sexually moral.
The next time you hear a man call a woman a slut, question him. Ask him why he sees it fit to put women into categories revolving around shame and guilt. Ask him if calling a woman fat, "too thin", ugly or "too old" makes him feel good about himself.
These supposed "liberal" men do not care about our humanity, they only care when it serves them in some way. There's a million other categories, i'm sure...including "Butch" or "Psycho" and so on.
But the next time some asshole tries to persuade you of his apparent 'respect' of women, remind him that women aren't put on this earth to please them.
Good post, especially about slut shaming. It's a terrible double standard. I was reading a Guardian article recently where a man was interviewed said he would NEVER consider dating a woman who had more than 5 sex partners and that most of his friends wouldn't date a woman who's slept with more than 3. When asked about his number, he said it was well over 20 but that it was "different" because women and men are different about sex. Never mind the fact that in order for him to have had sex with 20 women, they would have had to have casual sex and raise their "number" (an arbitrary thing invented to oppress women). The reason for this obsession with virginity and pure women is because everyone feels jealousy over previous partners. If they have a "pure" woman, it makes it feel like she's giving her sexuality only to him, like he's special in that way. It makes him feel powerful, like he owns her body/sexuality.
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