As a feminist, It really hurts me when I see women ostracizing other women without any reason. I was reading a blog by a feminist yesterday, I won't say any names because there's no need. The post pretty much said, if you're white, thin or traditionally "attractive" you can't be part of feminism, same with if you're NOT a separatist.
Well, separatism is something I support for women who want to do that, as much as i support a woman's choice to be with a man she falls in love with. Separatism isn't something a lot of women would be interested in, it's not a realistic goal. So if one chooses not to be a separatist feminist, that should not be a boot in the butt by other feminist women. To say that thin, white women can't be feminists is ridiculous and unfair. This type of thinking ostracizing women for looking a certain way, which undermines everything we try and do. To tell one woman she's not adequate for feminism is to disregard and ignore her experience and struggle. Yes, even white thin women like myself still face oppression, we're still women.
Is there a difference between being thin and white and being thin and white and not acknowledging that privilege? Of course. If white women, who act like Carrie from Sex and the City and think life is all about money, sex with men and plastic surgery, then yeah, i get the argument. But to just throw away a whole group of people because you find them "too" attractive is bullshit.
As a feminist, I care about all women as a class, If a woman hurts another woman or contributes to her oppression than that woman obviously isn't a feminist. We need to work to help one another to end the oppression, exploitation and pain women as a class face.
I needed to get that off my chest.
Unfortunately there have always been divisions amongst feminists. These divisions have always been created by various things such as race, class etc. Women need to start learning to stand together. Race and class may mean that different women have been oppressed in different ways.
ReplyDeleteBlack women may argue for example that white women never suffered the way they did. But at the end of the day all women irrespective of their color suffered at the hands of white male domination and privilege.
Women need to realize that men have no desire to end their male domination over women and the world.
It is therefore the responsibility of women to end male domination and privilege. Women will not be able to achieve this if they spend all their time attacking other women and forgetting where the real problem comes from.
I have also noted that a lot of movies coming out of Hollywood are not helping the situation. Many of these action movies claim to be feminist because they have strong female characters.
But instead of encouraging women to stand together and fight male domination they spend more time showing the women beating each other up. Which is clearly for the benefit of a male audience
I have also noted a lot of teenage movies showing this as well. These movies send out the wrong signals to girls, clearly showing that a girl's worst enemy are other girls.
OW, we agree that if this is the only criteria being used that it is ridiculous, but I need to point out that while you noted the unnamed feminist said "traditionally pretty" which I read as fitting the mainstream standard, your later comment conflates "white, thin, Euro beauty standard" with most attractive. I'm referring to the "too attractive" comment. If this was just a wording issue then heads up. If this was an unconscious slip, then I trust you will ponder it... and I should note I am catching up on my blog reading, hence the reason why you may be getting so many comments from me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the unnammed feminist that "pretty" comes with privlege, whatever the west deems as "pretty" comes with privlege. It was more when she said that anyone who is deemed conventionally "pretty" shouldn't be a part of feminism that pissed me off. As much as someone has privilege, they can still acknowledge the privilege and try to get rid of it and challenge it. Which is why i believe some men can be pro-feminists if they are willing to challenge their male priv. That's all i meant, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteAnd no prob, i love getting comments :D
A friend of mine... posted some images of herself on facebook in the style of bettie page, lingerie, coy looks, the whole nine yards. I called bullshit on her for it. And... she's not talking to me anymore.
ReplyDeleteFor a few weeks now I've been wondering if I did the wrong thing. Should I be accepting of this kind of thing? Another part of me says, no fuck that, she knows better than to debase herself for male attention.
Dear Feminist blogger, what do you think?
@Mildred
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I think you have every right to disagree with something a friend does. I don't think there's anything wrong with calling someone out on something or disagreeing with them. If she is upset that you disagreed with her, than clearly she needs to understand that not everyone thinks patriarchy embracing 'photoshoots' by dudes with an agenda is cool.
I find some friends really cannot take criticism for anything, and i have some friends who can. It sounds like you were just honestly concerned with and disagreeing with what she did, that's legit in my books.
If i had a close friend who was going in some porno-chic heternormative 'photo shoot' for some creep, yeah i would be concerned, too. I would probably say "Hey, why are you doing this? What's going on?"
I'm a size 8 white woman, who is mostly straight, if somewhat asexual at the moment... but I want to be a feminist too TT_TT
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