(Translates: No Whores, No Saints, Only Women
from here)
As someone who has been called a slut too many times to count (usually for not putting out) and who has been blamed and shamed for acts committed against me by men. I get it. What I don't get is why, instead of being enraged by abusive name calling, are women marching to the streets calling themselves something men have been calling them for centuries (in possible linguistic variations, of course). As much as I understand the intent and find joy in the fact that women are mobilizing against rape - I am saddened by the low bar being set. Is this it? Will attempts to reclaim words stop men from committing violence against us? Will it really make men see our true humanity?
The following is a conversation between myself and a few others...it basically summarizes my feelings about the "Slut Walks"
In my response to the invitation I wrote:
No woman is a slut. the word is not ours to reclaim since it has been traditionally used to oppress us. why call any women sluts? lets reclaim our right to be considered human beings with full humanity, not the sluts we are told we are. although I do not agree with attempts to "reclaim" oppressive language (women are not of the social power in our society to do so anyway) i wish everyone luck, as I know and i am sure thousands of other women (and children) know what it feels like to be told its "your fault" because of some attire choice, or shoeware or any other factor that isn't related to our consent.
In turn the creators of the event which is a group for "social change" replied:
I don't think that anyone needs to tell women to respect ourselves.... this is part of the problem: 'others' deeming what is self-respectl and what is not. I think that we should all focus on being respectful towards others and developing our own humanity instead of telling others what routes are acceptable for self-empowerment in the face of systematic and degrading oppression.
And a male responded with:
The "SlutWalk" is an insult to women... c'mon women, have some respect for yourselves! This is the WRONG way to go about it... THINK ABOUT IT!!! THINK, BEFORE YOU EMOTIONAL REACT!!! PLEASE!!!
Another male said:
If the "SlutWalk is an insult to women" then why are so many women in multiple countries supporting it? Why was the event initiated and developed by women? It's an event created by and for women to counter the insults and injustices against women in our society. Please see the website created by the local organizers for a whole bunch of background
To which I responded:
Luckily some feminists are setting up "No women are sluts walk" so no one is called a slut, and no one "deserves" to be raped...or you know, i can take advice from the two dudes here and let them tell me what's good for my feminist agenda and what isn't based on how many people think a group (women) with zero social power can reclaim a word that has been used to us and subordinate us to the status quo and patriarchy. I stick to my guns that no woman is a slut.
It's basic power relations - women walking around in short skirts calling themselves sluts won't change the fact that under patriarchy we are viewed as slabs of meat and orifices on legs - but i guess if we say it's "reclaimed" suddenly our lack of social power becomes irrelevant. The feminist movement needs to be reclaimed and re-examined, at least this middle-class only, liberal nonsense that changes no social structures, nor challenges the actual root of our oppression - are we hear to appease the oppressor or are we here to declare our status of "human being?"
For anyone who is not looking to falsely "reclaim" oppressive language, but still believe women ought to not be raped and ought to not be blamed for rape or anyone who feels women's sexuality and/or sexual choices should be mocked, repressed and/or dominated by patriarchal forces should check out this event that is called "Stop Calling Women Sluts Walk"
Also, for a great piece on this that examines the positives and the negatives of these events from a feminist perspective, go here
I'll admit, at first, I thought the SlutWalk was a great idea and I even supported it at one point - because hey, who wouldn't feel angry about blaming rape victims on the basis of attire? Afterall, rapists don't give a crap about what you wear, or if you're the "ugliest" girl in the world. But man... the name of the event. Talk about feeling torn over an event because of the original intent vs. a name and reclaiming... Hell, I feel guilty for supporting it at its early beginnings in Toronto (even though, I didn't actually show up); and slowly, I began to question it becaue I just felt uneasy about it. I'm glad I'm not alone here... And I'm glad I found Meghan Murphy's take on the SlutWalk; I'd say her perspective is one of the best so thanks for adding it to your blog post. Also, I'd dare say she more or less shares the same thoughts and I feelings as I did.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely do hope that the creators of SlutWalk could consider a name-change and a change in their attitudes when it comes to "reclaiming"; looks like they have a lot of learning to do. It's either that, or I should hope that this whole SlutWalk trend could just fade away peacefully (not that I have any sort of animosity towards it, but I just find it sad).
Thank you for posting!
This isn't about reclaiming a word. It's about showing the world that using a certain word or blaming the victim is wrong. And so we put ourselves in the place to make a point through a sad and horrific satire.
ReplyDelete@Gagfodder,
ReplyDeleteActually, many women involved in the slut walk have said it is intended for what you just mentioned but also for reclamation of the word itself.
As I wrote, blaming the victim is wrong, I have personally experienced it. It was a horrible, to say the least...but so is the idea surrounding a "slut walk." The idea attempts to, rather than abolish sexism and violence against women, sustain the idea that women are sluts, bitches, cunts and every other horrible word we are called. Women are this or that, whore or virgin - the dichotomies are endless! How will calling ourselves sluts get men to stop calling us and treating us like we're less than human? We need to march and join to fight violence against women and to end the vile victim blaming that happens at the legislative level and around the world. That part is fantastic - we need anger. But the approach itself may be problematic - I have seen male commenters on the Facebook groups saying things such as "Good Job Gals! I love sluts!" Do we want to be human beings? With free sexual autonomy and rights, the ability to clothe ourselves however we see fit without feeling we are "asking" for rape or harassment...why don't we have a march to end the naming and blaming of rape victims as sluts? To rise up against violence against women everywhere? Why must we do it in a way that promotes the sustainability of patriarchal woman-hating, anti-feminist language?
@Eternal
ReplyDeleteI also felt this way in the beginning. Then I started seeing signs that said "Proud to be a slut!" and i'm thinking, wait - isn't this about rape victims?
The name is very very problematic. So is the fact that so many dudes think its all a big joke and say shit like "I love slutty chicks, So i love slut walk!" derp
No woman is a slut, a slut is a fictional character. You cannot be labeled a slut without the presence, real or perceived, of sexual involvement with a male, and (real or perceived) failure to sufficiently please a male.
ReplyDeleteSimply put, "slut" is a projection. It is not an immutable trait one is born with, like black skin, or queer sexuality. "Slut" is an insult that supports the status quo - that women are responsible for male behavior and handling male sexuality - failure to do so, or doing so in the wrong way gets you labeled.
"Projection" is the absolute best explanation I have heard yet. It is 100% true. Thank you for your insight!
ReplyDeleteEven if the intentions where good in the creation of this name I am not sure if it will really achieve what it sets-out to be.
ReplyDeleteMen think the name is a joke and it certainly won’t contribute to them suddenly thinking of women as human beings as opposed to sex objects.
Despite what our feminist foremothers went through for us, many women seem to be too concerned about trying to please the male in a male donated world even if this means turning yourself into a slut.
If the name contributes to women realizing that they are so much more, that pleasing disgusting male sexual desires should not even be on their to-do-list and that women are NOT to blame for rape and other horrid forms of male on female abuse then I would say by all means use the word. But I have my doubts as to whether it will achieve anything of material value in the long run and just end-up causing many feminists to spend time on it when in actual fact they should be spending time and resources on other more pressing interests.