Family Values: Heterosexism & Homophobia?

As a woman, a feminist, and a friend of many in the LGBT community, I was floored when an immediate family member attempted to inform me that my male partner and I are both 'in the closet" and simply don't know it. This person then encouraged us to "come out."

Despite being around this family member many times, they (and allegedly "everyone" in the family) have long speculated and have now concluded that my relationship is merely a closeted scam to veil my suppressed homosexuality. When I did reply with, "no, that's not true," this person claimed that this response only validated their suspicions. 

This random, seemingly homophobic accusation appeared to be triggered by a post that I had made on another social media website that alluded to my decision to remain unmarried and childless. Other hints of my latent lesbianism? Well, according to this person, other "clues" included the title of this blog, my abundance of (amazing) lesbian friends, and my less-than-immense interest in heteronormative sex.

This online-ambush was likely due in part to my attempts to resist the normative, patriarchal, power-imbalanced, gendered relationship conventions that they seem to have internalized.
Further, I assume that this person went through a series of preconceived notions before concocting their theory on my sexuality: "what kind of woman has hairy legs, loves politics, hates makeup, swears, and doesn't want to ever marry or have children? and "What kind of man would stay in a relationship that isn't centered around his dick? What kind of man prefers art, cooking, communicating over spectator sports and emotional repression?" 

So, what does one do when family members, many of whom interact exclusively with other middle class, heterosexual white people, assume an identity for you then proceed to pigeon-hole, scrutinize and evaluate your relationship and sex life? You back off, put your hands up, and say Fuck it.

Fuck it because I know that 1) When someone tells you who they are, you should believe them 2) When someone tells you they are not who you say they are, you should believe them 3) If I were a Lesbian I would know and I would be the one identifying myself  4) If you care so much about creating and circulating theories about other people's sexualities and categorizing relationships that don't fit into your restrictive worldview, maybe you should re-examine yourself.

Harper Intent On Ruining Canada

Just thinking about Stephen Harper's desire to guide Canada into a "Conservative direction" makes me truly terrified. Terrified for human beings but terrified more for women and any non-heterosexual people.


Terrified, horrified, mortified, petrified for the safety of our food, earth, and standard of life.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck knows why older women come out!!

Just in: Lesbians who come out later in life are not really lesbians but rather women who could not find a suitable man! Yes, everybody’s favourite right wing enthusiast, Elizabeth Hasselbeck from the View stated that older men tend to date younger women “leaving older women with no one." This is some serious constructive thought – I’m impressed! How could she come up with something so deep and reality-altering? She’s pushing the envelope for bigoted ideas!

I mean, really…not only is this woman completely ridiculous but she has proved to be incredibly ignorant, too. To state that becoming a lesbian is just a “last resort” to heterosexual relationships is bullshit and it undermines lesbians every where. What bothers me the most isn’t the fact that she said this (because we all know she’s bigoted already) but the fact that she has so many followers who listen to her words as if she’s some messiah. Spreading hate and homophobia is bullshit and I’m glad Joy Behar jumped in and stated, "I don't think you suddenly wake up one day and say, 'Oh, I wanted to do that.' You wanted to do it, but you were just trapped in a system that has just said, 'get married.'"

Too bad I wasn’t part of the View, I would have really given her a piece of my mind. Of course, that’s not allowed – you have to be fair, right? I mean, it’s the View…the views you have shouldn’t question too much, or be too progressive…if they are, you might end up like Rosie O’Donnell and get the boot for having an opinion that goes beyond the boundaries of the show.

I hope Hasselbeck loses some fans over this.